The Bogus Builder

We were so excited when we embarked on this project.  We met a builder based in the neighborhood who was very reasonable in her pricing.  We decided to have her do some concrete work in lieu of references.  (Spoiler: HUGE MISTAKE!) She did some work clearing and framing out an additional parking space, but it wasn't wide enough.  We took some time to cut down a tree and then she delayed so she could get her favorite concrete guy.  In the end, it still hasn't happened.
Last month we reached the design phase where we needed the builder to join us in meetings and give input into what could be done with the construction and what might put the project way over budget.  She missed the first meeting.  We sent an email with detailed notes and asked for a rough estimate and a meeting to discuss the price breakdown and allowances.  It literally took about 3 emails and about 4 phone calls before we could finally set a meeting time.  She kept promising the estimate to us to review ahead of time for a productive meeting, and it was finally delivered at almost midnight the night before, after lots of asking and near harassment.  When we finally received the estimate, she just threw out a number with no breakdown and no allowances.
Once we realized that the meeting wasn't going to be productive, we told the designer to stay home.  During the meeting itself the builder told us she had all the breakdown and allowances and she would send them to us.  A week later it still hadn't arrived.
Meanwhile, we asked her at the beginning of February for estimates to build a water line.  After a few weeks, we checked back in asking what was going on.  Add some huge ice storms and poor soil conditions, and it was the beginning of March before we were told the plumbers could get started.  She gave us a date for the work to begin, but she never gave us a written estimate, after repeated requests.  It closed in on the date the work was supposed to be completed and when we still hadn't heard from her, the writing was on the wall.
Because she is a huge talker and the decision had already been made, I sent her an email outlining the reasons we were no longer going with her as our builder.  We asked for an invoice for the work she did prepping the driveway.  She was unhappy with the decision and starting texting my husband (I can't tell you how much I love that she then tried to go around me.) telling him that she did a lot more work and should be compensated for more.  The problem is that we were asking her for estimates and she was doing stuff we never asked for.  He gave a 5 day window in which she could call or stop by and it never happened.  We're hoping that this gets resolved sooner rather than later so that we can all move on.
In the meantime, we're scrambling to find a new builder.  Others we met with have quoted prices twice as much as the price she gave, leaving us both confused and frustrated.  The problem with living in such a booming town is that all the contractors are busy and can raise their prices and find people willing to pay them.  As this is a purely financial play for us, we're taking some time to determine how we want to tackle this problem.  We're coming to peace with the fact that the project will not break ground on April 1 like we initially planned and will not finish by the time our lease is up at the end of August.  While I hate not knowing how things are going to turn out, I'm glad that we're being proactive in making the decisions that are best for both this project and our family.